The Thing No One Tells You About Healing

Here I am writing my update a couple days later than expected, life unfortunately got in the way, as it sometimes does. While I have had many highs this week, I have also been experiencing mighty lows. Now the thing about healing is it's a complicated process. Sometimes you need to drudge through the storm before the sunshine can come through the clouds. As the expression goes “things often get worse before they get better.” The interesting thing for me this past week is the resurfacing of old symptoms - restless nights, fatigue and anxiety.

Before I embarked on my journey into holistic wellness, I was dealing with a host of health issues. Nothing that required medication but was definitely affecting my day-to-day life. Insomnia, restlessness, crippling menses, anxiety, fatigue, irritability, irrational anger and roller coaster emotions - I was a real treat to be around. I discovered along the way that there were many factors playing into my “issues.” Diet, lifestyle, unresolved emotions and stress. At this point in my life I was desperately struggling to set boundaries at work which was sending my stress levels through the roof. I did not fully understand the magnitude of what stress was doing to my body until years later while in school. My first reaction to this was to change my job aka slap a bandaid on a gunshot wound. Shockingly that DID NOT cure all that was plaguing me, over time it actually made things so much worse. Apparently you can’t just ignore your problems until they go away., who knew right? ​​ There would be days where the stress manifested as physical pain in my body; my chest hurt, my cough felt like razor blades in my lungs and I felt like even if I slept for 100 years I still wouldn't feel rested. How did this all get so much worse? Well at my previous job at least I ate well - I had already started to dabble in nutrition and eating a diverse diet full of plants, so I had that going for me, I worked out regularly and did my best. Remove the healthy eating out of the equation and pile on more stress and feelings of not being good enough and BAM the perfect storm was brewing. Most days I felt like I was surviving off of espresso, bagels and avocados. I would try to bring fruits with me or make better “eating out” choices but at the root of it all I wasn’t taking care of my body, how could I expect it to take care of me? Long story short I eventually quit and went back to school to study Holistic Nutrition in hopes of bettering my own health and building a career where I could help others do the same.

I learned a great deal while studying at the Institute of Holistic Nutrition and had MANY “ah-ha” moments where I reflected back on my life and saw all the ways I had done myself so wrong. Slowly, things started to change for the better. My sleep got better. I made it a priority, which can be tough to do as I was bartending at night so that I could pay for school (where I spent my days) but I found a way to make it work. I also learned how to use beneficial herbs to offer my body nourishment and a cushion from mounting stress. The attention I was giving my diet and the time I was investing into preparing nourishing meals for myself also improved. Knowing what I knew I could no longer justify how I was eating. I learned to set boundaries at work (the beauty of being an hourly restaurant employee) and saw things start to fall in line. That's not to say I never had another bad, or slip up, but I could see and feel that I was on the right track.

What does this have to do with my current gut healing journey?

As Friday rolled around I couldn’t help but ask myself why was I feeling like such a hot mess?

What the heck was going on?!

I had days where I felt backed up and so uncomfortable all day long. My sleep was a disaster, continuously waking up at 3 am, tossing and turning with no relief. Waking up feeling so tired after ANOTHER restless night. Stressing about my day, all the things I needed to get done, that feeling of “there just aren’t enough hours in the day.” And then came the chest tightness. That is the feeling that snapped me back into myself and was the “red flag” my body knew I would recognize. Every other warning along the way I could somehow justify or assume was caused by something else. But that feeling. I knew exactly what that was. On the quest to do everything perfectly, check all the boxes, cross off all the tasks, take on so many things, I failed to recognize I was going too hard and that I need to take a little step back.

The important lesson to learn here is that when our bodies try to communicate with us, through these symptoms, we need to stop and pay attention. Instead of getting upset or stressing out about where you’re “dropping the ball” , change your perspective and think of ways you could make your day-to-day easier. For example, I take my bulletproof coffee with me as I am headed out the door and eat my breakfast at work. I was getting frustrated that I kept forgetting to take my “with food” supplements with food. I would forget at dinner and since I wasn’t at home for breakfast I missed that opportunity as well. I could continue to grow annoyed with myself or come up with a solution - pack my supplements into my lunch bag. When I go to take my breakfast out of my bag I am reminded to take my supplements. Simple yet highly effective.

This weekend I also decided while on this journey I need to show myself some compassion and kindness. Yesterday I was quite stressed about all that I had to do, today I recognize that I am doing my best and that’s a great place to start. Although Gut Healing involves dietary adjustments and supplemental support, what often gets overlooked is how we treat ourselves and support the body's healing process. You can be eating the best foods in the world but if you continue to be hard on yourself, participate in negative self-talk or constantly feel defeated, you will continue to block your own healing path.

This week I invite you to be a little kinder to yourself. Build yourself up before you tear yourself down. Celebrate the small wins and if you're like me, accept that the world won’t stop spinning because you missed a deadline. Take the steps to set yourself up for success. Protect your energy if that is what you need. Carve out time for yourself to do absolutely nothing if that feels good. Grasp the idea that your journey has twists and turns and can get complicated at times. Release the expectation or idea that you had and embrace the path that you’re on.

Download this weeks meal plan!

gut-healing-program-week-3.pdf

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